


Peter Nureyev's Error

by Anonymous



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Drama, Excitement, Heist, High Stakes, Other, this is a serious story, very serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:55:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: An attempted heist goes wrong and Nureyev must take the blame.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 26
Collections: Anonymous





	Peter Nureyev's Error

**Author's Note:**

> This is aimed at a very specific audience. To anyone not in that audience, I can only apologise.

Alarms blared. There was a clatter of footsteps as the crew hurried down metal hallways, almost falling over one another. Around them, lights flashed in spectrums both seen and unseen, sirens screamed a panicked tune loud enough to make the ground tremble. 

And watching it all was Buddy Aurinko. The Carte Blanche was at a distance, poised to flee with her at the helm, and poised to carefully watch her family's latest target. There were secrets all throughout the Solar System if one knew where to look, facilities drilled into otherwise unremarkable asteroids. The heist had been planned down to the last detail. 

But now she could see the lights, hear the frantic panting on comms, cutting in and out. She grimaced, fingertips digging into the arms of her chair with a concern she refused to let show in her voice. So long as she projected confidence, she hoped that would carry over to them. 

"Report," Buddy said. 

"The _thief_ ," Vespa growled back. 

"That's not entirely fair-" Nureyev began. 

There was the sound of blaster fire and their words were cut off. Buddy squinted, calling up a zoomed in image on her screen. The Ruby7 was positioned near one of the facility's entrances, Jet already in his seat and prepared to drive. She sent a ping to their comms, and got the answering echo, identifying their position. 

Close. Buddy grimaced, and started to turn the Carte Blanche around. She needed to position the ship so that the Ruby had the shortest distance to travel before sliding into dock. Every second was important in an escape. 

"It wasn't his fault, honestly mama Aurinko, it wasn't," Rita's distinctive voice came over the comms. 

"Explain when you're back here," Buddy said. She flicked to another channel. "Jet? You're ready?"

"I am," Jet said, typically laconic. 

This was the worst part. She couldn't see them so clearly, not with the Carte Blanche turned, but she needed to be at this angle. She took a deep breath, felt her heart stutter, and then felt it steady. One breath, two breaths. 

She could trust them to make it. She knew that: she trusted in their skills. Then again, she'd also trusted in their skills to not trigger an alarm, and here they were. Whatever had gone wrong... 

Comms clicked to life again. 

"We've made it," Juno's voice came through. The hum of the Ruby's engine played under his words. "Coming in hot."

"This is not my first time, Juno," Buddy said. "Did you acquire the target?"

Vespa's growl answered that. 

"I'm dreadfully sorry," Nureyev said. "It wasn't intentional, but-"

"If I may," Jet said. "It may be better to have this discussion in person."

The comms crackled for a second, and something scored the Ruby's paintwork. Buddy gritted her teeth, hands dancing over the Carte Blanche's controls. 

The Ruby was the best escape car, but it wasn't the fastest. When it came to interplanetary distances, you needed a ship; as soon as the car was on board, as soon... 

"We're here," Jet said. 

She pulled a lever down, and the stars outside the window changed. She didn't let herself relax until she'd set the auto-pilot on a familiar, randomised course sure to lose any pursuer. 

Then she stood up, turned, and started to stride towards the entry bay. Her family awaited her there. 

Ruby looked a little worse for wear, but would be fine after a few touch-ups. Jet stood behind everyone, a good metre taller than the rest of the family, expression as utterly unreadable as it usually was. Then there was Vespa, a little bit away from the rest, her green hair as vivid as the knife she'd pulled out from seemingly nowhere and was pointedly sharpening, shooting a glower across the bay. Rita was slumped on the hood of the Ruby, catching her breath. 

Which left the last two. Juno had an arm over Nureyev's shoulders, clearly trying to comfort him. Nureyev was looking down at the floor. 

"Does somebody want to explain to me," Buddy said, pausing for emphasis, "What it was that happened? Were the schematics wrong?"

"No mom- captain," Rita said. "I checked and double checked. Alla that stuff, the corridors, the guard shifts, the tech, all right."

"Then how were you caught?" Buddy said. 

"It's the thief's fault," Vespa growled. "It would have been fine if he'd just..."

Buddy raised her eyebrows and turned to Nureyev. He, at least, had the good grace to look chastened. 

"It wasn't intentional," he said. "I promise. There was... an oversight."

"An oversight?" Buddy said. 

Nureyev sighed, shamefaced. 

"I tried," Nureyev said. "But I'm so dummy thicc, the clap of my ass cheeks alerted the guards." 


End file.
